It's a little past one in the morning. I'm going to sleep now. Just a moment, I need to put in eye drops first. My artificial tears. Oh, it's really amazing when you put cold artificial tears in your eyes. It feels so comfortable. (sighs) Nothing much. I was going to go to sleep and not record anything, but I decided to just say a little bit. (laughs, sighs)
Love really puts you to the test. It's not easy at all. When I look at other couples' relationships from a third-person perspective, it looks so cute. It looks like something that no matter what you invest in, you can't get that thing for yourself. You know?
Especially for me, there's more to it. For me, it's something I'd call important. Like, with my close friend, when we play games, you can hear their partner talking sometimes — they chat on Discord, and I hear it through my friend. It looks cute, you know? I mean, they're a couple, and it's cute. (laughs)
But with them... (laughs) I don't want to roast them, but oh well. My friend complained a lot at first, but they've been together for a really long time. (laughs) It's been a year or two, almost two years now. From my third-person perspective, it looks cute. But it's not easy, man. Love isn't easy, is it? If it were easy, it probably wouldn't be love. (laughs)
If it were easy... A human mind, just one person, is already hard to fathom. When two people who grew up in different environments have to come together, it's even harder, you know? Especially for me, love feels so, so, so difficult. (sighs) Just taking a small step into it feels like it drains so much energy. (laughs, sighs)
Do I want it? Do I wish for it? Yeah, I do. In some moments, I really do want it, but I think it's not the right time. That desire is just... like sometimes I feel lonely and I think, "Oh, I want someone to talk about my day with." You know? It's just a desire that comes when I'm lonely. It's not like I'm ready in a spiritual sense or anything like that. (sighs)
I'm so tired. (laughs) It's not just about that, though. Finding someone who values the same things, who has similar core values and attitudes. Similar values. Being too different isn't good. You can be different in minor behaviors, but when it comes to core values, it might be a bit difficult. That's about it. Just wanted to complain. (laughs) I'm tired. I feel tired. Oh well. (laughs)
Love, right? But I shouldn't close myself off. I should take it slow. Being single for so long is also something else. (laughs) Starting something new is so hard. Just starting a little bit, when you begin to think, "Oh, I have to make time, I have to do this and that"... it requires investment, right? Love needs a workout. Both people need to work at it. (laughs) It's exhausting, oh my god. Okay, see you. I'm going to sleep now.